Treasure Your Love

2nd day in dealing Cory’s death. I still can’t get over it. I know that I can’t get over it because I still can’t let go. I am still going through the videos of Glee to taste his present. Trying to convincing myself he is alive and still in my world.

I know it sounded crazy since he is not involve in my life and I have not met him before. Worse still, he don’t even know me! I guess I can call myself a Fan, a fan of the glee club. While going through the articles on Cory’s death, many couldn’t believe and accept. Since he is volunteer going through rehab, everyone is just puzzled why he die of drug abuse.


It is sad to know that he been through hard time during his childhood. I have so many question about his life. I regret not knowing him more. Seeing the pictures he took with Michele makes my heart break. She is 26 and he is 31. They are so compatible.

Their tragic story make me treasure my husband more. I dare not imagine my life without him. I love him so dearly. I am really sad… real sad.

I somehow see myself part of Glee Club. I imagine myself as Rachel, although I sometime hate her behavior. Having Finn such a wonderful guy and seeing their relationship progress was magical.

I hope Michele is dealing well and believe that for how much she is crying now would break Cory’s heart. Because I believe he love her dearly too.

RIP Cory Monteith (Aka Finn Hudson), I miss you already.

I received a news yesterday from my husband that the actor Finn Hudson from Glee has passed away. I was shocked and couldn’t believe what he said. So I Googled and was devastated to know that it is true. Up till this moment, I still couldn’t believe that Finn has die. I spent my entire morning and now going through videos of him in the Glee shows. I miss him already.



Although I am not a hardcore fan, the show Glee had made me feel involved in their lives. Not reality life but the life they have in the shows. I still remember his smile, silly dance moves and his music. Last night, I told my husband that I love Finn (Cory). I really do. He is such a wonderful guy in the show. I know this isn’t right as he may not be what he is in real-life. Yap, he has drug problem and that not what he is in the show.


I know that I need to separate myself between the reality and fantasy world of Glee. But he is so charming and adorable. I just love him.

I feel sad for Rachel Berry (Aka Lea Michele). Cory’s real-life girlfriend. Going through tough time with Cory in the show and also be part of his life. It must be truly sad for her. I couldn’t image how much she would be crying now. If I were her, I won’t know how to handle my emotion. I would cuddle myself in my bed and just cry through-out the day and night. I will crave for his hugs and kisses. Gosh, this is really sad.


It is hard to move on now. But time will heal our heart and will always remember Cory a wonderful and beautiful guy. May he rest in peace.


Take care Lea Michele.

Year 2013- A good start

I am turning 26 this year. Since 2009, there were many changes to my life. Of course, I am married. I was struggling in last post on who should I choose to be with and give up.


Love - Relationship
I finally settle down with Jeffrey. The guy who love me and I love him. No kid yet. We just tied our knot last year June 2012. Although, we just got married, we behave like old couple. So old that we don't celebrate our first valentine as married couple. I am kinda upset but still I am part to blame too as I always expect him to plan everything. Plus my temper is getting bad to worse. I think as I age, I get irritated when things are no plan the way I expect. I need to change and keep myself cool before my action.

Career - Job
I am working. Routine job as an administrator. We call it office lady. I am giving myself more options on the kind of jobs I wan to explore. At the age of 26 and married, I think the choices of jobs decreases. Especially, when you are planning for baby / babies. Still I do not wish that to be a reason for not finding my ideal job.

Family - in laws
Yes. I am married, so I have in laws. My Mother-in-Law, Father-in-Law, Brother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law ,and Niece-in-law. I stayed with my husband for more than 1 year before we got married. So I some how got use to the family culture. I must admit that every family has it own kind of culture and thinking. I grow up in a independent environment where my brother and I depend on ourselves for our daily meals and needs. This would include studies too. I support myself to study degree and luckily with the help of my uncle I pull it through. However, I am still carrying debts. Not serious debts. A debt that I can handle, yet not so easy as expected. Anyway, my husand's family members are alright. Despite staying with them for long, I am still not use to the culture. I am not exactly a good daughter-in-law. Like I mentioned, i have my temper too. Of course, I vet my displease in front of them (expect for portraying my black-face). I respect them as parents because I saw many positive things in them that I don't see in my own father. The distance between my dad and myself are further away ever since I got married. I cant remember when was the last time when I went back home, nor call my dad. I am such a... hmm I don know how to explained.


Right now, I am facing power failure in office. I think I better get going now.

Cheers.

I am very confuse with my life....

I am making things worse. I am not on the right mind.... I think I am crazy.

I don't know who to love, worth to love. Seriously, what happened to me.... I am just killing myself. Do you ever believe you can love or like more then 1 guy... How can it possibly happen. I think I am just decieving myself. None of them worth my love, nor me....

Sagita Sagita ..... if only you were point 1,2. haha no body will know the point 1 2 but me. A secret that cannot be shared....

I want to be a kuala bear that cling onto a guy that i love and love me forever ...... Ya ... i love sagita... but still not a reason to support on forgiving him....

Any strong tree around that i can cling onto ..... !

他今天突然 打给我。。。。

看见他的名字出现在我的电话。。。 那种心情真的很难 解释。。。
开心。。。 惊讶。。。 欣慰。。。

中午时他打来。。。

放工后他又打来。。。。

我的妈呀。。。。。 爱我吗！！！！

挂电话时，　你还说会在打　给我。。。。　＝（　

好难受啊。。。

走进G2000 就好像到处都看见他的身影。。。 白色的衬衫。。。
他常穿的衬衫。

好心痛哦。。。 也好想念他的背影哦。。。。
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看见他上线 。。。
他在干嘛啊 。。。

我好痛苦啊。。。

表面的笑容
内心的悲痛

才第三天， 我真的受不了。。。。
没听到你的声音。 没听看到你的脸孔。。。 你的笑声什么都没了。。。
我的妈呀！！！

我要这么活啊。。。。
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你说很感激我给你的礼物。。。 可是我这么感觉不到呢。。。。
你说看见我写给你的信 很感动 。。。 可是我一点感觉都没有。。。
你说你会把信收藏起来。。。 你真的会吗？


我好想你。。。