i didnt do in on perpose

i m getting bad to worse..... it not wad i wan to hang up e phone..... i felt guilty right after i hang up... i cant continuie reading my Note... dAmn! ... relationship always end up cant concentrating on study....... i always tot it would ! ..... but ....... wad wrong wif .. mi ... i didnt call to fight........ i didnt call to scold.... in fect i jus wan chat nicely......... but i jus simply need attention ......... (U call) u say sorry ..... i felt more guilt ..............soo guilt..... finally u laugh.. i luagh...... becos of the 2 pants..... it was wif him.... he ask mi when i want....... so i told him no need... n cal him email mi n he laugh and calling mi cute ~ ! Baby i love u always ..... i m really sorry abt the Mood swing .......... i really didnt mean it !

after 6 month

something is wrong.... i m not feeling good .... i don know why .... these nights i have been thinking alot alot.. my friends... n him..... Him... it seem like feeling is fading ..... i don know if really fade... today i was walking back home ... i jus remember i didnt call him... nor he call mi ... i tried to forget him a moment .... but i saw the thing on mi .. Mp3, nike shoe... purse... n hp~ all from him....
maybe becos sch start i got to see him lesser.. n tok to him lesser ... ever since we together... we are nv good in the phone.... don know y .... it like cant wait to put down the phone... been abit stress in sch... acutally nth stress much.. jus tt life is different now.... not like last time ... aftersch i will go vani house cook lunchern meat .. or eat her mom cooking ! haha n watch tamil movie... few months ago .. i still happily ..... teach tution.... n spend alot alot of time wif him... wherever we want to go .... we jus go .... nthing seem to b stoping us... but now....... not anymore..... 1 month pass i got use to it ...... although i m a bit sad... but after alex left mi .... i got use to b alone... so i felt the same way wif him..... jus tt he step harder in my heart..... too many foots print he left..... i m not saying we break alreadY ! .. i m jus saying feeling seem to b faded....
sometime i m the one who stressing myslef....... infect i m a little worried my mom pass on her depression on mi ... acutally ..... she did ..... =/ i get easily depress at nite... life seem to b falling ... is sad tt i cant accompany him... n have him go shopping alone ..... is sad tt i have to reject him... n cant go anywhere wif him ...... is sad tt we have got nothing much to tok anymore .... wad are we heading for ? .... i seem to b lost.... not marriage anymore...... my future seem to blur ..... i don know wad i live for ........ i cant feel happiness rite now ....... i don know why .... i tot i m the happiest girl in tis world...... i believe tt tis pass 2yr 4 months.... i m going to feel like tis too ....