Bad day

Thing turn out to be worse than i expected ........ well today suppose to met him go his house watch movie... yesterday night he wake up at 3 am to watch soccer ... he lost his bet .... sad...
i Know he slept very late yesterday night... so i decided to slowly go his house and wait for him to wake up ... i was at my house bus stop don know where to go ... so wait and wait ... so decided to take 65 to harbour front.... than slowly i went to the board to see where else can i go .... all very far ... chao chu kang .. yishun ... too fast .. so i decided to take 61 to the end station .... but who know he msg mi when i jus board the bus ... it was 1130 plus only.... he wake up so early.. so i tot can met him ...... but he didnt seem to want mi go his house ... he say " but my brothers at home" it seem like i m not welcome .. before tt day already decided to go his house ....men can nv keep his promised.... i was sad ... so i sms him let not met today ... becos .... if he come out he sure very tired ... and we are out of place to go ... so i didnt wan him to come out ... than he say ok to let mi b alone ... i was in the bus 61 .... viewing those trees ..... looking at the sky ... i m sad .... i wonder why cant we b like last time ... (i miss the moment we jus rest at hm and watch tv ... wait till night than take bus hm... )bus go and go .... and i think and think ..

Later when i reach the bukit batok station ... feel hungry ....... thinking again where to go .... no where ..... so thought of taking the bus back ..... so i sms him to met mi at holland for lunch ....
When i reach ... we went eat lo ... don feel good .. he seem tired... after lunch didnt know where to go .... haizz... than we went to the nearest shop the Factory store ah ... alot clothes inside .... but i still feel sad ..... he keep asking mi where to go .... orchard ? yishun ? ... i didnt wan to go anywhere firstly i know it will be boring ... secondly he is tired... so m i ... thirdly ... there is nth much we can do ... so i say i go home lo .... so he can go back his home too ... i said something bad ... i told him his brothers more impt ... he was angry ... i am not wrong .... although i don know his brother well ... but i dislike them... becos .. they make him change ... becos they AFFECT my relationship with him..... haizz.... when the bus come ... i jus say bye ...... and board the bus .. i WISH ... i was wishing him to board the bus too .. he didnt ... LOl.... not the first time anymore ......... don know why i still couldnt get use it ... still cry in the bus ... i look silly ... silly to fall in love again with someone who is not garantee... I wanted to jus say break again ... u know everytime when break out come to my mind ... i would ask myself ... am i able to live without him ... am i able to take it ... am i able to forgot it ... when u are angry u always say YES I AM.... Lol i can ... but i need time .... again ... i don know how long i going to get over ... i sad i m being treated like this ... i drop at china town thinking where i could cry out .... later i took 61 again to bugis ... shop ... and shop ... than later 61 again back at my home ... 530 i reach hm ... i hate being home so early ... i dislike to b hm so early ... sadly he doesnt know tt ... ppl who know mi ... know i hate my home .... sadly the person i love ... doesnt know .... becos he jus let mi go ........ i think i m going to break down .... why thing change........

i don know wad ur problem for not allowing mi to go the familiar house again ... if it was not nice for ur brother to see mi ... or if it was they dislike mi ... or if it was i m not the gf that u wanted them to know .... or if it was u are disgrace to have mi as a gf or if it was wad ever ........
i nv thought ur sibling would affect our relationship .... if i know they would i would nv choose to be with u .. i tot it was good for them to move in wif u becos i know u love them .... i know it good to have company... but u love them so much that u gave them the love tt belong to mi .... i feel terrible ...... being left along in the street again ........... i hate the feeling ..... if i know this would happened i would not agree to let them move in wif u .. if tt would happened i will not put so much love in u ........... i m not scare to be alone ..... i m scare of thee time tt need to cure myself again .......

my brother would nv interrupt in my life ...... i would nv interrupt in my brother life at all ... yes maybe i don love him(my brother) sometime i hate him.... i would still help him i could he would still help mi if he could .............. i love the life tt mi and my bro ...... becos ..... he nv affect my relationship wif u .... most imptly ....... he accepted u ..... he predict tt mi and alex wont last.. he got it ........... now he see my relationship .. he didnt comment anything ............. we share thing our story together .... we fight sometime ......

Btw i took i leave home at 1030 ...... i met him at 1 30 .... which mean i was traveling around the bus for 3 hrs... can believe it rite .... lol ...... i cant believe it too .... whenever i m sad ... i would jus board any bus ... let it take mi to where it goes.... so tt my sadness will jus drop at every bus stop it stoped.... sadly it nv drop .... it still around mi ........... i really really had a bad day ....... i feel not loved anymore .... why ..... if a guy really care would he jus leave u ..... i was alone at the street ... i know he is slping at home now.... thinking everything will be alrite .... but i m not .... accompanying my bf is wrong ? all i wan is jus spend time with u i don mind sit at home whole day watch tv or hearing u snor... i don wan u to be always complaining u are tired .... it seem to be my fault as a gf nv let u rest always want to met u ... maybe really it my fault ... maybe in the first place god should jus create man ....... with no Love in these world ..... Let my love for u fade with the wind ......