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Monday, May 22, 2006

It been 1yr5months

The date now is 22may 06 which mean i have u by my side for almost 1 yr 6months ...... well i don know should i say day getting good to bad or bad to worse or worse to nightmare.... maybe good to bad...
u still treat me well ,lovely .... maybe i expected more from you ... maybe i wanted feel more love than now... maybe i am just thinking too Much .... I just cant feel the loving when you once talk to me on the phone ( i have said this sentance b4) i still feel this way...
i just finish talking to you in just a minute ago ... infact i don't wana finish the our talk . the problem was... i feel that you wasnt listening to me .... true enough you are busy writing program...... yah men should be working .. i agree too but not this. I don like the way u pretend u are listening by saying "OK" which is not OK.... i admit i m troublesome ... i know you are loving toward me when we are outside... I wasnt happy anymore ... i find myself trying to find faults in you ... i find myself fight over little thing in you .... guess i am trying to get your attention toward me ..... guess i am crazy ..
Sometime you are making an effort to make me happy ... but i just don know why i am not happy smiling anymore .... will it better for mi to be alone all this while .... maybe not ... maybe yes ..... are you just a passer by .... or someone who really want stability ..... even for me .. i also don know if i will get settle down with you ...no body knows god knows..... you made me feel so less important .. i feel we are drifting apart ....... i know little about you ..... i tell little to you ...... i show lesser to u ...... i keep more to myself ..... u becoming just like friends... "boyfriend" is just name .. it represent nothing at all .......... it will become meaningless if boyfriend and girlfriend disconnected from love ......
maybe you are less emotional ..... or maybe i am too emotional ..... what will happened if i and you 24 hr together ? will it improve or worse to nightmare?

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