Treasure Your Love

2nd day in dealing Cory’s death. I still can’t get over it. I know that I can’t get over it because I still can’t let go. I am still going through the videos of Glee to taste his present. Trying to convincing myself he is alive and still in my world.

I know it sounded crazy since he is not involve in my life and I have not met him before. Worse still, he don’t even know me! I guess I can call myself a Fan, a fan of the glee club. While going through the articles on Cory’s death, many couldn’t believe and accept. Since he is volunteer going through rehab, everyone is just puzzled why he die of drug abuse.


It is sad to know that he been through hard time during his childhood. I have so many question about his life. I regret not knowing him more. Seeing the pictures he took with Michele makes my heart break. She is 26 and he is 31. They are so compatible.

Their tragic story make me treasure my husband more. I dare not imagine my life without him. I love him so dearly. I am really sad… real sad.

I somehow see myself part of Glee Club. I imagine myself as Rachel, although I sometime hate her behavior. Having Finn such a wonderful guy and seeing their relationship progress was magical.

I hope Michele is dealing well and believe that for how much she is crying now would break Cory’s heart. Because I believe he love her dearly too.

RIP Cory Monteith (Aka Finn Hudson), I miss you already.

I received a news yesterday from my husband that the actor Finn Hudson from Glee has passed away. I was shocked and couldn’t believe what he said. So I Googled and was devastated to know that it is true. Up till this moment, I still couldn’t believe that Finn has die. I spent my entire morning and now going through videos of him in the Glee shows. I miss him already.



Although I am not a hardcore fan, the show Glee had made me feel involved in their lives. Not reality life but the life they have in the shows. I still remember his smile, silly dance moves and his music. Last night, I told my husband that I love Finn (Cory). I really do. He is such a wonderful guy in the show. I know this isn’t right as he may not be what he is in real-life. Yap, he has drug problem and that not what he is in the show.


I know that I need to separate myself between the reality and fantasy world of Glee. But he is so charming and adorable. I just love him.

I feel sad for Rachel Berry (Aka Lea Michele). Cory’s real-life girlfriend. Going through tough time with Cory in the show and also be part of his life. It must be truly sad for her. I couldn’t image how much she would be crying now. If I were her, I won’t know how to handle my emotion. I would cuddle myself in my bed and just cry through-out the day and night. I will crave for his hugs and kisses. Gosh, this is really sad.


It is hard to move on now. But time will heal our heart and will always remember Cory a wonderful and beautiful guy. May he rest in peace.


Take care Lea Michele.

Year 2013- A good start

I am turning 26 this year. Since 2009, there were many changes to my life. Of course, I am married. I was struggling in last post on who should I choose to be with and give up.


Love - Relationship
I finally settle down with Jeffrey. The guy who love me and I love him. No kid yet. We just tied our knot last year June 2012. Although, we just got married, we behave like old couple. So old that we don't celebrate our first valentine as married couple. I am kinda upset but still I am part to blame too as I always expect him to plan everything. Plus my temper is getting bad to worse. I think as I age, I get irritated when things are no plan the way I expect. I need to change and keep myself cool before my action.

Career - Job
I am working. Routine job as an administrator. We call it office lady. I am giving myself more options on the kind of jobs I wan to explore. At the age of 26 and married, I think the choices of jobs decreases. Especially, when you are planning for baby / babies. Still I do not wish that to be a reason for not finding my ideal job.

Family - in laws
Yes. I am married, so I have in laws. My Mother-in-Law, Father-in-Law, Brother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law ,and Niece-in-law. I stayed with my husband for more than 1 year before we got married. So I some how got use to the family culture. I must admit that every family has it own kind of culture and thinking. I grow up in a independent environment where my brother and I depend on ourselves for our daily meals and needs. This would include studies too. I support myself to study degree and luckily with the help of my uncle I pull it through. However, I am still carrying debts. Not serious debts. A debt that I can handle, yet not so easy as expected. Anyway, my husand's family members are alright. Despite staying with them for long, I am still not use to the culture. I am not exactly a good daughter-in-law. Like I mentioned, i have my temper too. Of course, I vet my displease in front of them (expect for portraying my black-face). I respect them as parents because I saw many positive things in them that I don't see in my own father. The distance between my dad and myself are further away ever since I got married. I cant remember when was the last time when I went back home, nor call my dad. I am such a... hmm I don know how to explained.


Right now, I am facing power failure in office. I think I better get going now.

Cheers.

I am very confuse with my life....

I am making things worse. I am not on the right mind.... I think I am crazy.

I don't know who to love, worth to love. Seriously, what happened to me.... I am just killing myself. Do you ever believe you can love or like more then 1 guy... How can it possibly happen. I think I am just decieving myself. None of them worth my love, nor me....

Sagita Sagita ..... if only you were point 1,2. haha no body will know the point 1 2 but me. A secret that cannot be shared....

I want to be a kuala bear that cling onto a guy that i love and love me forever ...... Ya ... i love sagita... but still not a reason to support on forgiving him....

Any strong tree around that i can cling onto ..... !

他今天突然 打给我。。。。

看见他的名字出现在我的电话。。。 那种心情真的很难 解释。。。
开心。。。 惊讶。。。 欣慰。。。

中午时他打来。。。

放工后他又打来。。。。

我的妈呀。。。。。 爱我吗！！！！

挂电话时，　你还说会在打　给我。。。。　＝（　

好难受啊。。。

走进G2000 就好像到处都看见他的身影。。。 白色的衬衫。。。
他常穿的衬衫。

好心痛哦。。。 也好想念他的背影哦。。。。
-------------------------------------------------------------
看见他上线 。。。
他在干嘛啊 。。。

我好痛苦啊。。。

表面的笑容
内心的悲痛

才第三天， 我真的受不了。。。。
没听到你的声音。 没听看到你的脸孔。。。 你的笑声什么都没了。。。
我的妈呀！！！

我要这么活啊。。。。
----------------------------------------------------

你说很感激我给你的礼物。。。 可是我这么感觉不到呢。。。。
你说看见我写给你的信 很感动 。。。 可是我一点感觉都没有。。。
你说你会把信收藏起来。。。 你真的会吗？


我好想你。。。　

不追问到底为什么　是我最后的温柔

想笑着附和说分开是好的

但我们却怎么　一起哭了

我舍不得　可是时间回不去了

爱你很值得　只是该停了

没有我你要好好的 我舍不得　

最后一次抱紧你了

我们错过的　错了就错了

不用担心我　我不爱你了

至少你记忆里的我　是微笑的

亲爱的　有你牵着我的那些日子

真的好快乐

我舍不得　可是时间回不去了

爱你很值得　只是该停了

没有我你要好好的

我舍不得　最后一次抱紧你了

我们错过的　错了就错了

不用担心我　我走了

有一种爱叫做放手 ...

By Cory Martinez
At first we loved, but not again.
We met at the room,
and we talked ever since.
We stood starring at each other,
I wondered the time, we'd
Stand together. Holding hands
as we walk down the street,
I wondered when our lips
Would meet.
My heart is broken, u seemto ignore, The pain
I have, when u left me sore.
Our love was strong In which now your
heart is blind to see, now I feel
that your love has forgotten
completely about me.
Well all in all I'm heartbroken
Without u by my side,I wish we could love each
other like we did that one time.

She sits at her sit watching her crush
Watching him laugh, speak, the way he says her name
Making her smile as well just from hearing him
Wanting more than friendship
But knowning she can't have him
She loves another...
Letting her heart break and mend again
She watches on being the unknown
All the things she feels for her crush
He may never know how she feels
Not wanting to ruin the friendship they have
So she sits an is silent saying not a word
For she is the unknown

想念他的笑声。。。 他的埋怨。。。 他的身影。。。

我的忍忍忍忍忍忍忍忍忍忍

烦烦烦烦烦烦

过了这么久。。。 我才决定放弃。。。

真舍不得。。。 舍不得。。。

哎。。。。

Today -14 Jan 2009 , I came to Simin house to stay over. She was packing her messy, disgusting , junk room. And she found something very very presious... Our Upper Serangoon Secondary school Magazines... No values can be given to these Mags. From year 2000 - 2004. 4 good years in that school.

Really miss the school... seriously love the school ...

After looking at those events that took place in the school, I really regret not having to enjoy myself fully. Instead, I always complaint and complaint about those events. Just cant wait to go back home early....

I turn from page to page... I saw Alex photo... I almost forgot how he look. I looked carefully at the old , black-white picture.... I look so hard and didnt want to take my eyes always from that face.... I want to remember that face again. I don know why I had time feeling...

It been 6 years. 2 tearful years and 4 good years... He can never be forgotten ... When I saw his face, the feeling came back. Not my feeling for him but the feeling when we were together. That face made me so MAD ,ANGRY ,PISSED and Upset. Very upset... His everything used to be mine. The person I used to own ... The guy that I tell everyone he is mine, is no longer mine.

Haiz, I miss him. Very much. Whenever I am in Town, I would always wonder if I will see him. I wonder if we will bump into each other. Just like 6 years back, I saw him with the Japanese girl at Ceni...

My First love - Alex Nguyen Vietanh

Life is werid...

How can Life be so WEIRD and WEIRD. I hate my life. Not that is not good. Is just that I am good but haizz don really know how to explain.

Tml is the day. I invited my secondary school friends, some can make it , some cant. Understand is jus a weird timing. However I am dissappointed with some who I invited but have yet to reply. We been in 1 particular school for 5 yrs and this is how friendship is treated. Sad. really sad .

Anyway I am truning 21 this coming sun. I am not excited at all. Wadever , I feel is going to be a sux day.

I just want to be ALONE

-------------------------------------------------

We make them cry who care for us.

We cry for those who never care for us.

And we care for those who will never cry for us.

This is the truth of life, its strange but true.

Will I change to care for the one who care for me?

---------------------------------------------------------

我的生日快到了。。。 11 月23日。。。 时间过的真快啊。。。 已经想好要这么过了。。。 本想出国的可是钱不够 哈哈。。。 没办法啦。。。 就在国内庆祝吧。。。

这几天常常为喜欢的人哭。。。 应为喜欢才哭嘛。。。 不喜欢哭什么屁啊。。。 应为在乎所以被他玩得团团转。。。 哈哈 问题好像每次都出现我这。。。 小气，疑心病， 不体谅。。。。 等等。。。

我要的他给不到我。。。 该这么办呢。。。 哎。。。

My Little Secret within me- Teletubby 我心里的小密密- 娃娃

哈哈大家好。。。 今天的心情特别好哦。。。

我发现了一个有趣的网站。。。 有很多女生在爱情上受到很多打击。。。 我读了她们的心声真的为她们伤心。。。 也很想哭哦。。。

可能是自己也受过伤害， 所以可以了解女人的心声。。。 我身边的每个朋友都被伤害过。。 我自己也对感情开始没什么信心了。。。 我和我男友很好。。 只不过每个感情都会有它们的问题。。。

童话故事是骗人的！！！说什么幸福快乐的在一起。。。　白吃才会信　。。。　


心情好是因为想通了。。。　不想再为感情问题而烦恼。。　我只想自由自在的过生活。。。　
我的意思不是要放弃我的这段感情。。。　只是学会不要太认真。。。　
想太多对自己　也不好啊。。。　


心里的那个小蜜蜜真的让我好开心呀。。。　那种感觉很特别。。。　不想失去这种感觉。。。　
心里的那个他。。。。　

Hello everybody !

好久没写日记了。。。 因为太忙了。。。 也变懒了。。 哈哈真是的。。。

我都过的很好啦。。。 男友还是很爱我。。。 也很疼爱我。。。 可是没这么快结婚。。。 哈哈。。

thế nào có thể tôi là đâm ra yêu hai người

tôi không nghĩ tôi yêu nó .
không ! là tôi không cho rằng

nó ích kỷ , confident và hợm . tôi ghét nó

今天，看了一部电影叫SpeedRacer。 有我的韩国rain。。。 他好帅啊。。。。
哈哈。。。 好开心见到他哈哈哈哈快疯掉。。。



我发现我每次来到伯克都回想到他。。。 是个坏习惯吧。。。 没办法。。。
不知道要写什么。。。 想他吧。。。 他在想我吗。？